Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Human rights for everyone

So very excited to see what happens in d.c. with the supreme court hearing on gay marriage! Its ridiculous to me that people genuinely believe that any two people should not have the right to marry because of their own view of what marriage is. I think government should have no say in marriage. Like at all. As a married woman it still pisses me off that if my husband and I weren't married we would not have the same rights as other married couples in regards to taxes, in case of emergency or death, and in matters related to our children. Let's say my husband was only my boyfriend and he was in an accident and coma. And my mother in law (who is awesome and would never do that to me) decided I couldn't see him then guess what? I'm shit out of luck because I'm not next of kin. Its not just marriage to anyone. Its about all the rights that go along with a stupid piece of paper that makes all the difference.

I believe that religion needs to stay in our own being. There are many different belief systems in the world and people are delusional if they think their one religion is going to dictate the laws of a country that is so incredibly diverse. Don't like it, don't look....I use that motto for breastfeeding as I do for many other things that do not include the harming of others.

On another human rights issue...this week is gential integrity awareness week in d.c. as well. Some may not know that I do not support routine infant circumcision. Well now you do. I don't judge those who just thought it is what you're supposed to do or don't understand that for the most part it is purely a cosmetic surgery. However,  I do hope that people will research this before they choose to have their son's body permanently altered. I'm not against circumcision if that's what a consenting adult wants to do. I am against it when the person whose body is being forever altered for no reason cannot speak for themselves.  This is not a parenting choice.  This is not your penis. Your child is not property and their body is their own. Research the myths. Many many men in other countries are perfectly happy with their bodies the way they were meant to be. If you wouldn't do this to your daughters or believe and fight for your daughters' right to choose what happens to their bodies then I urge you to do the same for your sons. I'm sure some may be offended by my stance but its not judgement on my part. I just hope that others will really research and watch videos to truly understand. I know I didn't even think about it until someone asked me to educate myself and it changed my whole view.

I bring these two things up because while we have come a long way as a society we are still so far behind in so many others. At the present moment these two issues are being fought for in our nation's capitol and we need to really look at ourselves and see what side we stand on and why.

Monday, March 25, 2013

masks and sunflowers

sometimes we play and things are great. other times we play and things aren't so easy. yesterday was one of those days that encompassed both scenarios. thankfully my parents and sister came around to help me out so we were all a little bit happier. spring break is this week so hopefully we will find some fun things to entertain ourselves. 

chubby baby hands and chin.

v. and g.


the sunflower sprouts.

hoping we get some beautiful flowers.

Sunday, March 24, 2013

52 week project fail

I will admit that I failed horribly at this project. I really wanted to keep up, i swear but well i just didn't. i did however take some cute pictures of v and g so here they are.
bath time fun.
sleepy girls.

where i live.

Saturday, March 16, 2013

solitary life

for the most part that is how i live my every day. sometimes i like it that way because i find it stressful to go out with v and g. honestly i would rather stay home and let them destroy my own house then feel the stress and embarrassment that i do when i try to get them to listen and not throw things in public or in someone's home. all that would be okay i guess since they won't be little forever if maybe i had some time to talk to other people besides my mom on a regular basis. some days i go the whole day without talking to my husband. 

my best friends are a great group but none of them have children and they are living their lives. i would love to be able to see them on my own or be able to call them and actually have a conversation. i think the last time i saw one of my friends without the girls in tow was in october for my birthday and i can't remember the last time i was able to call any of them. i desperately want to know about their lives and what's going on with them but truthfully i can never seem to find the opportunity to be able to devote my whole attention to a conversation and that isn't fair to them. one of the downfalls of being a young mother. by the time my little ones are old enough for me to go to work and see my friends they will probably be having their babies. i can't wait for that for them but i'm afraid to move farther away from them as time goes on.

i'm 22 years old but i feel like i'm living the life of a grandma confined to a nursing home. while i love being at home with my girls sometimes i feel stuck. i used to look forward to work so i could see my co workers and talk about whatever other than what new mischief curious george is getting into. i didn't like the stress of school but i liked learning new things and feeling productive. i love to read but i don't do that anymore because it takes me months to read a book that would normally take two days to knock out. i don't know who i am other than momma anymore though if i really think about it i guess that's always been my only role and i just had other things i had to do along with mothering. 

i dont want to stop doing that. i'm happy to be the one raising my girls but i feel like i can't do that right either. i'm not crafty or creative in really any way, i yell too much, i crave alone time. i'm resentful of my partner sometimes because i "work" on average 15 hours every day with very active kids and get woken up a few times a night and i rarely get to sleep in, i do all the housework, i never have privacy and while i'm writing this he's out watching fights at a friend's house after being at work for 8 hours just because. i just wish i had the opportunity to have some time to talk to my friends that i feel so far away from or have something that is just for me because i'm doing a million things for everyone all day. 

i don't mean to rant but i just feel so lonely so often that i just need to put it down somewhere so maybe i can figure out how to fix it if i can. i know i'm lucky to be home and have two beautiful children so i feel guilty even feeling unhappy :(